My cardiologist has called my cable company and told them to take away SNY for the rest of the season. He says it's not good for me and that recently I've been having more frequent heart palpitations than normal.
Last night's crushing defeat was the final blow. I went to the doctor and he said I have a common condition called Chokus heartbreakus. It's a condition where the heart pumps adrenaline into the bloodstream after watching a sensational comeback in the top of the 9th inning, but when that same comeback team collapses in the bottom of the ninth the heart actually breaks and instead pumps anger, venom, and animosity into your vital organs.
I told my doctor I was only watching it in picture-in-picture so that I wouldn't be fully exposed, but he said the power of this condition is that it penetrates any medium.
He recommended I watch episodes of Family Affair to help cope soothe the pain to which I started making derogatory comments about Mr. French. So I went out and got the Friday Night Lights DVD instead (great show by the way in case you've never seen it).
I'm at work today, but he said to stay away from other Mets fans because the condition is highly contagious and he's seen riots start because of it.