Hello. My name is Luis Aguayo. You don't know me? I'm the third base coach for the New York Mets (thanks Jerry!). I'd post a picture of myself, but none exist on the entire Internet. Can you believe that? I can.
I'm just your average third base coach. I like to spit. I like to stand outside doing nothing. And I absolutely love the sunflower seeds. They're so tasty and crunchy at the same time. Plus they allow me to have an excuse to do the other thing I absolutely love, spit!
One of my other hobbies is getting Endy Chavez thrown out at home plate. Oh, it's so funny watching little Endy run around the bases. He's reminds me of Speedy Gonzalez, who I love almost as much as spitting.
When I see Endy flying around second, it just makes me want to see him embarrass himself by making an out at the plate. He's so cute with his skinny little arms chugging back and forth. I just love to watch him get thrown out.
In fact I did it last night, twice! Oh what a wonderful evening. I could hardly write about it in my diary because I was just smiling from ear to ear as I thought about sending Endy around third while Jimmy Rollins' rocket arm was waiting to gun him down like Bambi's momma.
The only person I enjoy sending to home plate more than Endy Chavez is Ramon Castro. Oh that bucket head huffs and puffs around the bag and I send him home just for the fun of it.
So now you know me. I'm Luis Aguayo and I love to watch Endy Chavez get thrown out at home plate. It's almost as fun as spitting. And that's my job.