Friday, June 15, 2007

Clemens, Newton, Scientists and Madmen…

It is possible but unlikely that Roger Clemens’ name has ever been written or uttered in the same sentence as that of the brilliant, Sir Isaac Newton, one of the world’s founding fathers of physics, mathematics and philosophy. Roger is more likely to be tied to Scientists of an entirely different nature, like those from the wonderful labs of BALCO. (I’m just saying).

Anyway, on my drive into work this morning, I couldn’t help but think of Newton’s Laws of Motion (as I often do) and how they used to be on regular display when Mike Piazza would reduce Clemens to nothing more than a Little League pitcher. For those of you who do not remember Newton’s Laws of Motion, I present to you a refresher:

1. An object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by a net force (Piazza’s Homers off Clemens still circle the universe).

2. Force equals mass multiplied by acceleration (Piazza’s Homers off Clemens were missile-like blasts, hard to see with the naked eye).

3. To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. (Piazza’s regular moon-shot home runs turn Clemens into a juice-induced (I’m just saying), sore-losing madman and eventually beans him in the head, and throws a bat at him (when pitching baseballs is a lost cause, why not try something different, right?).

If only we could bring Piazza back for tonight’s game, bring a little old school flava to the Bronx. Maybe O (Omar) could trade an injured Milledge to Billy Beane and the A’s for one day, since he likes him so much, and let him run along the right field stands slapping high-fives with the fans, or just let him bust out some lyrics from his new CD in the clubhouse for the team.

And while we’re on the subject of Laws, the law of averages will tell you that the Mets are due for a victory and the Yanks are due for a loss. It’s time to get back on track tonight and stick it one more time to the over-paid, over-hyped, Rocket.

1 comment:

dave said...

I love it! I was thinking the same thing this morning about Piazza and the infamous broken bat throw by Clemens.

The Yanks are due for a loss. No better time for it than with Clemens on the mound.