8 Things Aaron Heilman Is Doing This Afternoon

1. Renting Rookie of the Year to look for some pitching pointers
2. Finding comfort in the fact that Carlos Delgado is a worse hitter than he is
   
3. Telling himself that he's really a starting pitcher
4. Wondering where his next meal will be
5. Watching Ellen instead of working on his mechanics
6. Calling Guillermo Mota for advice
7. Staring into the mirror and saying, "I am a rock in a sea of confusion" over and over
8. Emailing Yadier Molina to see if he'll be a reference on his resume